Ministry Update

After a long time of being at home and not in regular meetings, we are on the road once more, heading west toward our first meeting in AZ. Thank you all for your prayers and concern for us. Some of you have written and expressed concern since you had heard nothing from us in quite a while. Be disappointed no longer. Here is the first of many (probably) updates as we resume our normal abnormal schedule.

I will advise you to be careful in your fan mail to my wife. Having heard so many suggestions of publishing our updates, my wife has decided to charge a subscription fee of $10 a month.

Family Update

“Boing! Boing! Boing! Woo-woo! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ring-ring!” These are the sounds of our first full day back on the road. While you might be mentally assigning each of the above sounds to a particular member of our family, you would be forgetting the “X-factor.” Battery operated Christmas toys. While some people love these “educational toys,” the adult members of our family have grown to despise them. You can only take so many hours of phrases like, “Hi! My name is Edison!” These toys usually do not last long around our house. You are probably thinking that I secretly destroy the toys so that I can throw them away, but you would be wrong. I encourage the children to play with them as often as possible in order to drain the batteries and put the toy on permanent vacation. Sometimes, I even play with them myself, if the need arises.

Our family has seen enormous growth over the Christmas season. Not in our personal size, although that is definitely possible due to the exorbitant amount of meals and parties in which we participated. I am speaking in reference to the “stuff” we now own. The children, in addition to new wardrobes provided by admiring relatives, received about twenty volumes for their library, toy dishes, six baby dolls, a bow and arrows, approximately 1500 new Legos for the collection (seriously), several battery operated toys, a ukulele, and a kazoo. These last two items were thoughtfully provided by the same person – a childless uncle. He had better hope that he stays that way, because retribution lurks in the misty future. The most unusual gift award went to another uncle. These gifts were stuffed toys in the form of viruses – E. coli and Rhinovirus, to be exact. While these gifts in themselves are nothing remarkable, the questions that they engender are very much so. Have you ever tried to explain to a two-year-old that their stuffed toy is not an animal, but something that makes you sick? Talk about having nightmares! “Mommy, I dreamed that my stuffed rhinovirus turned me into a giant runny nose, and then I blew up!” Well, maybe not!

I was surprised anew at the bad driving of the other people on the road today. I strongly suspect that some of them were still suffering the effects of their New Years’ celebration. Their driving would certainly witness to that. Anyway, we are parked for the night in Birmingham, AL at Mountain View Baptist Church. We plan to head out tomorrow and go as far as we can. This may be adversely affected by the children. Esther cut her first tooth yesterday, and if the second decides to make its way north, our journey will be cut short due to fussiness. Right now, she is happy and glad to be out of the seat for now.

Josiah and Abigail surprised me by getting along very well most of the day. They pretended for quite some time that they were a rooster and a chicken. The resulting “cock-a-doodle-doos” and “bock-bocks” amidst shrieks of laughter was enough to try the patience of any saint, including me. Paul doggedly drove, as if trying to escape the cacophony in the backseat, while I closed my eyes and wished for a rest stop. All said and done, it was a pretty typical day on the road.

Other family news to note – Paul will be turning 30 this Thursday. Please flood his inbox with your congratulations and tacky birthday forwards, complete with the phrase, “If you love God, please forward this to everyone on your mailing list.” Of course, you will all receive a message in return, since we would hate to break the chain. A plague of battery operated toys might befall us if we don’t send it on, you know…